According to the writer of the best-selling crime novel ever to have been published in the city of Ankh-Morpork, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse.
And Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies and an ancient crime more terrible than murder.
He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches, and occasionally snookered and out of his mind, but never out of guile. Where there is a crime there must be a finding, there must be a chase and there must be a punishment.
They say that in the end all sins are forgiven.
But not quite all..
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Terry Pratchett - Hogfather
It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet. Where is the big jolly fat man? Why is Death creeping down chimneys and trying to say Ho Ho Ho? The darkest night of the year is getting a lot darker... Susan the gothic governess has got to sort it out by morning, otherwise there won't be a morning. Ever again... The 20th Discworld novel is a festive feast of darkness and Death (but with jolly robins and tinsel too). As they say: You'd better watch out...
Terry Pratchett - Interesting Times
Terry Pratchett satirizes Chinese and Japanese culture and Maoist Communism in this humorous fantasy, part of the multi-volume Discworld series. The incapable and cowardly wizard Rincewind is rescued from a life of glorious boredom on a remote island and unwillingly transported to the Agatean Empire, a repressive regime ruled by a dying, insane emperor, his ambitious, extremely dangerous Grand Vizier, and several feuding noble clans. Once there, Rincewind discovers that his old companion, the tourist Twoflower, has written a highly colored account of their adventures together and that a very polite band of peasant guerrillas is using it as a revolutionary document. To make matters worse, they expect Rincewind--described in the book as the "Great Wizzard"--to lead their rebellion. Meanwhile, the geriatric Cohen the Barbarian and his band of equally aged heroes, the Silver Horde, decide to invade.
Terry Pratchett - The Light Fantastic
'What shall we do?' said Twoflower. 'Panic?' said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival. When the very fabric of time and space are about to be put through the wringer - in this instance by the imminent arrival of a very large and determinedly oncoming meteorite - circumstances require a very particular type of hero. Sadly what the situation does not need is a singularly inept wizard, still recovering from the trauma of falling off the edge of the world. Equally it does not need one well-meaning tourist and his luggage which has a mind of its own. Which is a shame because that's all there is...
Terry Pratchett - The Colour of Magic
On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but inept wizard, a naive tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet... "An ideal introduction to the worlds of science fiction, fantasy and humourous writing for reluctant and avid readers alike." _Booktrusted News_
Terry Pratchett - Soul Music
"Other children got given xylophones. Susan just had to ask her grandfather to take his vest off." Yes. There's a Death in the family. It's hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe - especially when you have to take over the family business, and everyone mistakes you for the Tooth Fairy. And especially when you have to face the new and addictive music that has entered the Discworld. It's Lawless. It changes people. It's called Music with Rocks In. It's got a beat and you can dance to it, but ... It's alive. And it won't fade away.
Terry Pratchett - Lords and Ladies
The fairies are back - but this time they don't just want your teeth... Granny Weatherwax and her tiny coven are up against real elves. It's Midsummer Night, No time for dreaming... With full supporting cast of dwarfs, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers and one orang-utan. And lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place.
Terry Pratchett - Small Gods
Terry Pratchett tackles a tough topic in the 13th satiric fantasy in the Discworld series: religious extremism. The land of Omnia is a repressive theocracy ruled by priests and inquisitors, who believe more in their own power than in the Great God Om. This is a somewhat difficult situation for Om, because his power is dependent on the faith of his worshippers. Only one person, the simple novice Brutha, truly believes in Om and is capable of hearing the voice of the god, who, incidentally, is currently trapped within the body of a small tortoise.
Terry Pratchett - Moving Pictures
The alchemists of the Discworld have discovered the magic of the silver screen. But what is the dark secret of Holy Wood hill? It's up to Victor Tugelbend ("Can't sing. Can't dance. Can handle a sword a little") and Theda Withel ("I come from a little town you've probably never heard of") to find out... Moving Pictures, the tenth Discworld novel, is a gloriously funny saga set against the background of a world gone mad!
Terry Pratchett - The Carpet People
In the beginning there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet... That's the old story everyone knows and loves (event if they don't really believe it). But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples and there's a new story in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet. The story of power-hungry mouls - and of two Munrung brothers, who set out on an adventure to end all adventures when their village is flattened. It's a story that will come to a terrible end - if someone doesn't do something about it. If everyone doesn't do something about it...
Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!
This is where the dragons went. They lie... not dead, not asleep, but... dormant. And although the space they occupy isn't like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly. And presumably, somewhere, there's a key... Guards! Guards! is the eighth Discworld novel - and after this, dragons will never be the same again!
Terry Pratchett - Jingo
Discworld goes to war, with armies of sardines, warriors, fishermen, squid and at least oen very camp follower. As two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch faces unpleasant foes who are out to get him... and that's just the people on his side. The enemy might be even worse. Jingo, the 21st in Terry Pratchett' s phenomenally successful Discworld series, makes the World Cup look like a friendly five-a-side.
Terry Pratchett - Johnny and the Dead
Sell the cemetery? Over their dead bodies... Not many people can see the dead (not many would want to). Twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell can. And he's got bad news for them: the council want to sell the cemetery as a building site. But the dead aren't going to take it lying down... especially since it's Halloween tomorrow. Besides, they're beginning to find that life is a lot more fun than it was when they were... well... alive. Particularly if they break a few rules...
Terry Pratchett - The Fifth Elephant
Sam Vimes is a man on the run. Yesterday he was a duke, a chief of police and the ambassador to the mysterious fat-rich country of Uberwald. Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war. But there are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and the're catching up.
Terry Pratchett - Mort (angol)
Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt wil know that in skilled hands it is fearsome. For Mort however, it is about to become one of the tools of his trade. From henceforth, Death is no longer going to be the end, merely the means to an end. He has received an offer he can't refuse. As Death's apprentice he'll have free board, use of the company horse and being dead isn't compulsory. It's the dream job until he discovers that it can be a killer on his love life...
Terry Pratchett - Equal Rites
The first two Discworld books satirized the classic quest novel. In the third humorous installment of the series, Terry Pratchett takes on traditional gender roles in fantasy. A dying wizard leaves his magical staff to a newborn baby--a baby who, as the eighth son of an eighth son, is fated to be a wizard. But the baby, Eskarina Smith, turns out to be a daughter instead, with a very unique magical destiny indeed. EQUAL RITES introduces a fan favorite character who appears in many of the later books, the iron-willed, irascible, (but secretly good-hearted) witch Granny Weatherwax.
Terry Pratchett - Stephen Baxter - The Long Earth
1916: the Western Front, France. Private Percy Blakeney wakes up. He is lying on fresh spring grass. He can hear birdsong, and the wind in the leaves in the trees. Where has the mud, blood and blasted landscape of No Man's Land gone? 2015: Madison, Wisconsin. Cop Monica Jansson has returned to the burned-out home of one Willis Linsay, a reclusive and some said mad, others dangerous, scientist. It was arson but, as is often the way, the firemen seem to have caused more damage than the fire itself. Stepping through the wreck of a house, there's no sign of any human remains but on the mantelpiece Monica finds a curious gadget - a box, containing some wiring, a three-way switch and a... potato. It is the prototype of an invention that Linsay called a 'stepper'. An invention he put up on the web for all the world to see and use, an invention that would change the way mankind viewed his world Earth forever. And that's an understatement if ever there was one... ...because the stepper allowed the person using it to step sideways into another America, another Earth, and if you kept on stepping, you kept on entering even more Earths... this is the Long Earth. It's our Earth but one of a chain of parallel worlds, lying side by side, each differing from its neighbour by really very little (or actually quite a lot). It's an infinite chain, offering 'steppers' an infinite landscape of infinite possibilities. And the further away you travel, the stranger - and sometimes more dangerous - the Earths get. The sun and moon always shine, the basic laws of physics are the same. However, the chance events which have shaped our particular Earth, such as the dinosaur-killer asteroid impact, might not have happened and things may well have turned out rather differently. But, until Willis Linsay invented his stepper, only our Earth hosted mankind... or so we thought. Because it turns out there are some people who are natural 'steppers', who don't need his invention and now the great migration has begun...
Terry Pratchett - Night Watch
Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a hard-boiled egg! Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down a murderer, teach his younger self how to be a good copper and change the outcome of a bloody rebellion. There's a problem: if he wins, he's got no wife, no child, no future. A Discworld Tale of One City, with a full chorus of street urchins, ladies of negotiable affection, rebels, secret policemen and other children of the revolution.
Terry Pratchett - Thud!
Koom Valley? That was where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls. It was far away. It was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him. Oh... and at six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read Where's My Cow?, with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.
Neil Gaiman - Terry Pratchett - Good Omens
There is a distinct hint of Armageddon in the air. According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (recorded, thankfully, in 1655, before she blew up her entire village and all its inhabitants, who had gathered to watch her burn), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, the Four Bikers of the Apocalypse are revving up their mighty hogs and hitting the road, and the world's last two remaining witch-finders are getting ready to fight the good fight, armed with awkwardly antiquated instructions and stick pins. Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. . . . Right. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon -- each of whom has lived among Earth's mortals for many millennia and has grown rather fond of the lifestyle -- are not particularly looking forward to the coming Rapture. If Crowley and Aziraphale are going to stop it from happening, they've got to find and kill the Antichrist (which is a shame, as he's a really nice kid). There's just one glitch: someone seems to have misplaced him. . . . First published in 1990, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's brilliantly dark and screamingly funny take on humankind's final judgment is back -- and just in time -- in a new hardcover edition (which includes an introduction by the authors, comments by each about the other, and answers to some still-burning questions about their wildly popular collaborative effort) that the devout and the damned alike will surely cherish until the end of all things.
Terry Pratchett - I Shall Wear Midnight
Tiffany Aching, the young witch from "The Wee Free Men", "A Hat Full of Sky" and "Wintersmith" is back in a new adventure featuring Discworld characters both familiar to fans (such as Tiffany, the Wee Free Men, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg) and new (meet Wee Mad Arthur, the Nac Mac Feegle on the City Watch whose only previous appearance was a brief cameo in Feet of Clay and city witch Mrs Proust - a fabulous Pratchett creation). Oh, and there's a magic book or two, a twist through time, a Cunning Man - and a Giant Man of chalk...