Safe ​People How ​to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

Ismeretlen szerző - The ​School of Life: How to Overcome Your Childhood
To ​an extraordinary and even humbling extent, who we are as adults is determined by events that happened to us before our fifteenth birthday. The way we express affection, the sort of people we find appealing, our understanding of success and respectability, our approach to work and money… all have a habit of being decisively shaped by events in childhood. This isn’t to say that we have to remain prisoners of the past; it simply means that in order to liberate ourselves from our histories, we first have to become fully aware of them. This is a book about such a liberation. It acts as a guide to the influence of childhood on our adults selves, as well as to the way we can – through understanding – move on from some of the more unhelpful aspects of our early family dynamics. We learn about the way that character is formed, about the concept of ‘emotional inheritance,’ about the formation of our concepts of being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ - and the impact of parental styles of love on the way we choose adult partners. We learn too about how we might evolve emotionally and, in particular, how we may sometimes need to have a breakdown in order to have a breakthrough. The tone throughout is gentle, wry and humane. We are left with a powerful sense that building up an emotionally successful adult life is possible so long as we reflect with sufficient imagination and compassion on what happened to us a long while back.

Chuck Spezzano - If ​It's Heartbreak, It Can Be Healed
Everyone ​has felt the pain and anguish of heartbreak, and most have searched in vain for resolution. If It's Heartbreak, It Can Be Healed is an interactive journey filled with signposts and roadmaps to show you the way through your suffering. Relationship expert Dr. Chuck Spezzano offers practical, inspiring insights and lessons for anyone who has been through disappointments and setbacks that come from a broken heart. For example, did you know… Emotional pain shows that you are making a mistake? And you can correct this mistake. You can only be upset if someone breaks your rules? Your rules are defenses against old pain, and they beg to be broken. Every heartbreak is part of a power struggle? A heartbreak pattern in relationships is also a defeat pattern in your career? Organized into four accessible sections — Recipes for Disaster: Things that Lead to Heartbreak, The Lessons of Heartbreak, Healing Chronic Heartbreak: The Unconscious Patterns, and The Tools for Healing Heartbreak — If It's Heartbreak, It Can Be Healed will increase your emotional intelligence and make you ready for the next, better stage in your life. Chuck Spezzano, Ph.D., is a highly successful seminar and workshop leader, author, lecturer, visionary leader, and the co-founder of the Psychology of Vision, an international training organization. He is the author of many other books, including If It Hurts, It Isn't Love and The Enlightenment Pack. He lives in Hawaii.

Dan Ariely - Amazing ​Decisions
Dan ​Ariely, the New York Times bestselling author of Predictably Irrational, and illustrator Matt R. Trower present a playful graphic novel guide to better decision-making, based on the author's groundbreaking research in behavioral economics, neuroscience, and psychology. The internationally renowned author Dan Ariely is known for his incisive investigations into the messy business of decision-making. Now, in Amazing Decisions, his unique perspective--informed by behavioral economics, neuroscience, and psychology--comes alive in the graphic form. The illustrator Matt R. Trower's playful and expressive artwork captures the lessons of Ariely's groundbreaking research as they explore the essential question: How can we make better decisions? Amazing Decisions follows the narrator, Adam, as he faces the daily barrage of choices and deliberations. He juggles two overlapping--and often contradictory--sets of norms: social norms and market norms. These norms inform our thinking in ways we often don't notice, just as Adam is shadowed by the "market fairy" and the "social fairy," each compelling him to act in certain ways. Good decision-making, Ariely argues, requires us to identify and evaluate the forces at play under different circumstances, leading to an optimal outcome. Amazing Decisions is a fascinating and entertaining guide to developing skills that will prove invaluable in personal and professional life.

Marshall B. Rosenberg - Being ​Me, Loving You
Many ​of us think of love as a strong emotion, a feeling we have for another person. Marshall Rosenberg's helps us take a wholly different and life-enriching approach to love. Love is something you "do," something you give freely from the heart. Using the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process, learn how to express yourself nakedly and honestly to your partner, friends, or family, for no other purpose than to reveal what's present or alive in you. Discover what thousands of people around the world already know: A heart to heart connection strengthened by joyfully giving and receiving is the love you long to experience. Discover how to: - Free yourself from the burden of proving your love and requiring proof in return - Avoid doing anything out of guilt, resentment, shame or obligation - Learn to effectively express how you are and what you need

Sharon Salzberg - Real ​Love
You ​are a person worthy of love. You don’t have to do anything to deserve all the love in the world. Real Love is a creative tool kit of mindfulness exercises and meditation techniques that help you to truly engage with your present experience and create deeper love relationships with yourself, your partner, friends and family, and with life itself. Sharon Salzberg, a leading expert in Lovingkindness[GR1] meditation, encourages us to strip away layers of negative habits and obstacles, helping us to experience authentic love based on direct experience, rather than preconceptions. Across three sections, Sharon explains how to dispel cultural and emotional habits, and direct focused care and attention to recapture the essence of what it is to love and be loved. With positive reflections and practices, Sharon teaches us how to shift the responsibilities of the love that we give and receive to rekindle the powerful healing force of true connection. By challenging myths perpetuated by popular culture, we can undo the limited definitions that reduce love to simply romance or passion, and give the heart a much needed tune-up to connect ourselves to the truest experience of love in our daily lives.

Malcolm Gladwell - Talking ​to Strangers
How ​did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn't true? Talking to Strangers is a classically Gladwellian intellectual adventure, a challenging and controversial excursion through history, psychology, and scandals taken straight from the news. He revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, the suicide of Sylvia Plath, the Jerry Sandusky pedophilia scandal at Penn State University, and the death of Sandra Bland---throwing our understanding of these and other stories into doubt. Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don't know. And because we don't know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world.

Amir Levine - Rachel S. F. Heller - Attached
We ​rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes." In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Amir Levine - Rachel S. F. Heller - Attached
We ​rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes." In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Amir Levine - Rachel S. F. Heller - Attached
We ​rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes." In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Amy Cuddy - Presence
Have ​you ever left a nerve-racking challenge and immediately wished for a do over? Maybe after a job interview, a performance, or a difficult conversation? The very moments that require us to be genuine and commanding can instead cause us to feel phony and powerless. Too often we approach our lives' biggest hurdles with dread, execute them with anxiety, and leave them with regret. By accessing our personal power, we can achieve "presence," the state in which we stop worrying about the impression we're making on others and instead adjust the impression we've been making on ourselves. As Harvard professor Amy Cuddy's revolutionary book reveals, we don't need to embark on a grand spiritual quest or complete an inner transformation to harness the power of presence. Instead, we need to nudge ourselves, moment by moment, by tweaking our body language, behavior, and mind-set in our day-to-day lives. Amy Cuddy has galvanized tens of millions of viewers around the world with her TED talk about "power poses." Now she presents the enthralling science underlying these and many other fascinating body-mind effects, and teaches us how to use simple techniques to liberate ourselves from fear in high-pressure moments, perform at our best, and connect with and empower others to do the same. Brilliantly researched, impassioned, and accessible, Presence is filled with stories of individuals who learned how to flourish during the stressful moments that once terrified them. Every reader will learn how to approach their biggest challenges with confidence instead of dread, and to leave them with satisfaction instead of regret.

Aziz Ansari - Eric Klinenberg - Modern ​Romance
A ​hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated? Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate. For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before. In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

Brad Blanton - Radical ​Honesty
The ​first edition of Radical Honesty became a nationwide best seller in 1995 because it was not a kinder, gentler self-help book. It was a shocker! In it, Dr. Brad Blanton, a psychotherapist and expert on stress management, explored the myths, superstitions and lies by which we all live. And this newly revised edition is even worse! Blanton shows us how stress comes not from the environment, but from the self-built jail of the mind. What keeps us in our self-built jails is lying. "We all lie like hell," Dr. Blanton says. "It wears us out...it is the major source of all human stress. It kills us." Not telling our friends, lovers, spouses, or bosses about what we do, feel, or think keeps us locked in that mind jail. The way out is to get good at telling the truth, and Dr. Blanton provides the tools we can use to escape from that jail of the mind. This book is the cake with the file in it. In Radical Honesty, Dr. Blanton coaches us on how to have lives that work, how to have relationships that are alive and passionate, and how to create intimacy where none exists. As we have been taught by the philosophical and spiritual sources of our culture for thousands of years, from Plato to Nietzsche, from the Bible to Emerson, the truth shall set you free.

Milan Kundera - The ​Unbearable Lightness of Being
Kundera ​offers an imposing perspective: the 'Universal Story', to put it this way. This worldview is expressed in his apparently emotional stories - apparently emotional because, according to Kundera, in real life there are no great, straightforward sentiments. Rather, the human relationships described by Kundera are always quite cynical and cold. In this way he constructs a whole world centred around his characters. A world that has a historical dimension, which he never fails to notice with stinging criticism. This naturalism must be viewed against the backdrop of Kundera's experiences. In fact, Tereza's Bohemia described in the novel is Kundera's very Bohemia. Also the repressions that Tereza and her lover Tomas suffer under the Soviet Regime have an autobiographic background. These experiences have led Kundera to take a ferociously critical stance against the Soviet Regime, also expressed in his novel 'The Joke', in which the author evokes the times of his expulsion from the communist party. This gloomy, almost Kafkaesque atmosphere pervades every aspect of Kundera's narrations, at times even overshadowing the plot. Needless to mention, also Kafka was a blind novelist. With Kundera, it is the weight of history that messes up the protagonists' lives. He reveals his characters as humble marionettes, subject to the 'conditions' that deny the characters real freedom. Especially Tomas triggers off these reflections. He muses upon his utterly fortuitous encounter with Tereza. It was brought about by a mixture of random coincidences. Human existence and therefore life itself is a fatality, governed by extraneous variables. Hence the novel's conclusion is implicit in its premises. If every effect is as causal as the causes, it follows that everything must eventually be nullified in a great vacuum, an impalpable Zero.

David DeAngelo - Double ​Your Dating
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Dale Carnegie - How ​to Win Friends and Influence People
How ​to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the first bestselling self-help books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1936, it has sold 15 million copies world-wide.

Gary Chapman - The ​5 Love Languages
Falling ​in love is easy. Staying in love--that's the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands and conflicts and just plain boredom of everyday life? In the #1 New York Times bestselling book The 5 Love Languages, you'll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman's proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner-starting today. "If we learn to meet each other's deep emotional need to feel loved, and choose to do it, the love we share will be exciting beyond anything we've ever felt."-Gary Chapman The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships in today's world, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. Practice the simple steps outlined in each chapter and you'll be on your way to a healthier, mutually beneficial relationship. Also includes an updated version of The 5 Love Languages® personal profile.

Emerson Eggerichs - Love ​& Respect
Discover ​the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find. Today, you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. His revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage. Using Dr. Eggerich's breakthrough techniques, couples nationwide are achieving a brand-new level of intimacy and learning how to: - stop the Crazy Cycle of conflict - initiate the Energizing Cycle of change - enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of new passion And if you'll take this biblically based counsel to heart, your marriage could be next!

Lynn Osterkamp - How ​To Deal With Your Parents When They Still Treat You Like a Child
When ​you're an adult, getting along with your parents can be every bit as difficult as it was when you were growing up. This practical guide - written by an expert in the field of family conflict and communication - will help. Full of personal accounts, it identifies the kinds of problems you may be having - and helps you develop a plan to solve them.

Eric Berne - Games ​People Play
We ​think we're relating to other people;but actually we're all playing games. Forty years ago, Games People Play revolutionized our understanding of what really goes on during our most basic social interactions. More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne's classic is as astonishing;and revealing;as it was on the day it was first published. This anniversary edition features a new introduction by Dr. James R. Allen, president of the International Transactional Analysis Association, and Kurt Vonnegut's brilliant Life magazine review from 1965. We play games all the time;sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, and competitive games with our friends. Detailing status contests like "Martini"; (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like "If It Weren't For You"; and "Uproar,"; to flirtation favorites like "The Stocking Game"; and "Let's You and Him Fight,"; Dr. Berne exposes the secret ploys and unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives. Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It's as powerful and eye-opening as ever

Eric Berne - What ​Do You Say After You Say Hello?
What ​Do You Say After You Say Hello? explains what makes the winners win, the losers lose, and the in-betweens so boring... In it, Dr Eric Berne reveals how everyone's life follows a predetermined script - a script they compose for themselves during early childhood. The script may be a sad one, it may be a successful one; it decides how a person will relate to his colleagues, what sort of person he will marry, how many children he will have, and even what sort of bed he will die in...What Do You Say After You Say Hello? demonstrates how each life script gets written, how it works and, more important, how anyone can improvise or change his script to make a happy ending...