When the spoilt and haughty Dona Constanza tries to divert a river to fill her swimming pool, she starts a running battle with the locals. The skirmishes are so severe that the Government dispatches a squadron of soldiers led by the fat, brutal and stupid Figueras to deal with them. Despite visiting plagues of laughing fits and giant cats upon the troops, the villagers know that to escape the cruel and unusual tortures planned for them, they must run. Thus they plan to head for the mountains and start a new and convivial civilisation.
Louis de Bernières - The Troublesome Offspring of Cardinal Guzman
While the economy of his small South American country collapses, President Veracruz joins his improbable populace of ex-soldiers, former guerrillas, unfrocked priests and reformed - though by no means inactive - whores, in a bizarre search for sexual fulfilment. But for Cardinal Guzman, a man tormented by his own private daemons, their stupendous, hedonistic fiestas represent the epicentre of all heresies. Heresies that must be challenged with a horrifying new inquisition destined to climax in a spectacular confrontation...
David Mitchell - Back Story
David Mitchell, who you may know for his inappropriate anger on every TV panel show except Never Mind the Buzzcocks, his look of permanent discomfort on C4 sex comedy Peep Show, his online commenter-baiting in The Observer or just for wearing a stick-on moustache in That Mitchell and Webb Look, has written a book about his life. As well as giving a specific account of every single time he's scored some smack, this disgusting memoir also details: • the singular, pitbull-infested charm of the FRP (‘Flat Roofed Pub’) • the curious French habit of injecting everyone in the arse rather than the arm • why, by the time he got to Cambridge, he really, really needed a drink • the pain of being denied a childhood birthday party at McDonalds • the satisfaction of writing jokes about suicide • how doing quite a lot of walking around London helps with his sciatica • trying to pretend he isn’t a total **** at Robert Webb’s wedding • that he has fallen in love at LOT, but rarely done anything about it • why it would be worse to bump into Michael Palin than Hitler on holiday • that he’s not David Mitchell the novelist. Despite what David Miliband might think
Jen Campbell - More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops
Customer (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it! Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops was a Sunday Times bestseller, and could be found displayed on bookshop counters up and down the country. The response to the book from booksellers all over the world has been one of heartfelt agreement: it would appear that customers are saying bizarre things all over the place - from asking for books with photographs of Jesus in them, to hunting for the best horse owner’s manual that has a detailed chapter on unicorns. Customer: I had such a crush on Captain Hook when I was younger. Do you think this means I have unresolved issues? More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops has yet more tales from the antiquarian bookshop where Jen Campbell works, and includes a selection of ‘Weird Things...’ sent in from other booksellers across the world. The book is illustrated by the BAFTA winning Brothers McLeod.
Ismeretlen szerző - Állítsátok meg a világot! Ki akarok szállni. / Stop the World! I Want to Get Off
Szórakoztató idézetek a világból magyar és angol nyelven. "A nukleáris láncreakció feltalálása semmivel sem kell hogy közelebb vigye az emberiséget a pusztuláshoz, mint a gyufa feltalálása." (Albert Einstein)
George Mikes - How to be a Brit
George Mikes has been studying the British for a long time; here in one book are his three major works, in which he unstintingly offers the fruits of forty years of field research to all aspirant Brits. Having himself been born abroad, Mr. Mikes is in the ideal position to counsel others in the same unhappy state - and even Brits born and bred may pick up a few unexpected tips from his irresistible blend of laconic humour and sharp observation.
Douglas Adams - The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
When a passenger check-in desk at Terminal Two, Heathrow Airport, shot up through the roof engulfed in a ball of orange flame the usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the IRA, then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one in a million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic, before finally having to admit that it wasn't actually anything to do with them at all. No rational cause could be found for the explosion - it was simply designated an act of God. But, thinks Dirk Gently, which God? And why? What God would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15.37 to Oslo? Funnier than _Psycho_... more chilling than _Jeeves Takes Charge_... shorter than _War and Peace_... the new Dirk Gently novel, _The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul_.
Sue Townsend - Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman
Over the last decade, Sue Townsend has written a monthly column for Sainsbury's Magazine, covering everything from housepipe bans and Spanish restaurants to writer's block and the posh middle-aged woman she once met who'd never heard of Winnie the Pooh. Now collected together for the first time, these funny, perceptive and touching pieces make up this brilliant new book from one of Britain's most popular and acclaimed writers.
David Levithan - Boy Meets Boy
This is the story of Paul, a sophomore at a high school like no other: The cheerleaders ride Harleys, the homecoming queen used to be a guy named Daryl (she now prefers Infinite Darlene and is also the star quarterback), and the gay-straight alliance was formed to help the straight kids learn how to dance. When Paul meets Noah, he thinks he’s found the one his heart is made for. Until he blows it. The school bookie says the odds are 12-to-1 against him getting Noah back, but Paul’s not giving up without playing his love really loud. His best friend Joni might be drifting away, his other best friend Tony might be dealing with ultra-religious parents, and his ex-boyfriend Kyle might not be going away anytime soon, but sometimes everything needs to fall apart before it can really fit together right. This is a happy-meaningful romantic comedy about finding love, losing love, and doing what it takes to get love back in a crazy-wonderful world.
Masashi Kishimoto - Naruto 6. (angol)
Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura passed the written portion of the Chûnin Exam, but that was only the beginning! Now in the thick of the exam's second phase, held in the aptly named Forest of Death, instructor Mitarashi Anko has promised to cut the number of advancing teams by half. And a mysterious predator in their midst is after Sasuke!
Avery Monsen - Jory John - All My Friends Are Dead
If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.
Douglas Adams - Mostly Harmless
Arthur Dent hasn't had a day as bad as this since the Earth was blown up. Depressed and alone, Arthur settles on the small planet Lamuella and becomes a sandwich maker. Looking forward to a quiet life, his plans are thrown awry by the unexpected arrival of his daughter.
Claire Belton - I Am Pusheen the Cat
This collection of oh-so-cute kitty comics—an online cult phenomenon, now for the first time in an adorable gift book—Pusheen combines the online reach of The Oatmeal’s How to Tell if Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You with the super-sweet appeal of Hello Kitty. With more than 2 million page views a month, 500,000+ blog subscribers, and 500,000+ Facebook followers, Pusheen is a pleasantly tubby gray tabby cat who has warmed hearts and tickled funny bones of millions worldwide with her signature GIF animated bops, bounces, and tail wiggles. Now, Pusheen is ready to make the leap from digital to print with her first comic collection! I Am Pusheen the Cat features some of the most popular comics from the website, including Reasons I Love Fall, Career Options for Your Cat, and Christmas To Do List, as well as a healthy serving (at least 25 percent) of never-before-seen material that is sure to delight Pusheen’s many dedicated fans.
Gemma Halliday - Deadly Cool
Hartley Grace Featherstone is having a very bad day. First she finds out that her boyfriend is cheating on her with the president of the Herbert Hoover High School Chastity Club. Then he's pegged as the #1 suspect in a murder. And if that weren't enough, now he's depending on Hartley to clear his name. Seriously? Not cool. But as much as Hartley wouldn't mind seeing him squirm, she knows he's innocent, and she's the only one who can help him. Along with her best friend, Sam, and the school's resident Bad Boy, Chase, Hartley starts investigating on her own. But as the dead bodies begin to pile up, the mystery deepens, the suspects multiply, and Hartley begins to fear that she may be the killer's next victim.
Jessica Brody - My Life Undecided
PLEASE READ THIS! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! Okay, maybe that was a bit melodramatic, but I’m sorry, I’m feeling a bit melodramatic at the moment. Here’s the deal. My name is Brooklyn Pierce, I’m fifteen years old, and I am decisionally challenged. Seriously, I can’t remember the last good decision I made. I can remember plenty of crappy ones though. Including that party I threw when my parents were out of town that accidentally burned down a model home. Yeah, not my finest moment, for sure. But see, that’s why I started a blog. To enlist readers to make my decisions for me. That’s right. I gave up. Threw in the towel. I let someone else decide which book I read for English. And whether or not I accepted an invitation to join the debate team from that cute-in-a-dorky-sort-of-way guy who gave me the Heimlich maneuver in the cafeteria. (Note to self: chew the melon before swallowing it.) I even let them decide who I dated! Well, it turns out there are some things in life you simply can’t choose or have chosen for you—like who you fall in love with. And now everything’s more screwed up than ever. But don’t take my word for it. Read the book and decide for yourself. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll scream in frustration. Or maybe that’s just me. After all, it’s my life.
The Oatmeal - How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You
TheOatmeal.com’s most popular cat jokes, including “How to Pet a Kitty” and “The Bobcats,” plus 15 new and never-before-seen catthemed comics, are presented in this hilarious collection from New York Times best-selling author Matthew Inman, a.k.a. TheOatmeal.com. Includes pull-out poster! Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat comics in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of cat comics, facts, and instructional guides from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat jokes. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have from Mr. Oats! A pullout poster is included at the back of the book.
Warren Ellis - Crooked Little Vein
Burned-out private dick Michael McGill needs to jump-start his career. What he gets instead is a cattle prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted chief of staff wants McGill to find the Constitution - the real one the Founding Fathers secretly devised for the time of gravest crisis. And with God, civility, and Mom's homemade apple pie already dead or dying, that time is now. But McGill has a talent for stumbling into every imaginable depravity - and this case is driving him even deeper into America's darkest, dankest underbelly, toward obscenities that boggle even his mind.
Douglas Adams - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - A Trilogy in Five Parts
First a legendary radio series, then a bestselling book, now a blockbusting movie, the immensely successful Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy needs no introduction. Reissued to coincide with the films release, this hardback omnibus edition include all five parts of the trilogy, incorporating for the first time, Mostly Harmless, along with a guide to the guide and essential notes on how to leave the planet. This single hardback edition is indispensable for any would-be galactic traveller and for old and new Douglas Adams fans everywhere.
Woody Allen - Side Effects
A humor classic by one of the funniest writers today, SIDE EFFECTS is a treat for all those who know his work and those just discovering how gifted he is. Included here are such classics as REMEMBERING NEEDLEMAN, THE KUGELMASS EPISODE, a new story called CONFESSIONS OF A BUGLAR, and more.
Nick Arnold - The Body Owner's Handbook
Science with the squishy bits left in! The Body Owner's Handbook is the guide you simply can't live without. You'll discover a range of fantastic features you didn't even know you had, including: • an auto-repair function • a built-in cooling system • top-of-the-range sensory equipment • rear gas and waste disposal. So you think you can stornach the sick side of science? This mad manual' shows you-how to get the best from your body machine. Get the lowdown on the pluses of pus, the vitals of vomit and the science of snot. With trouble-shooting tips, terrific tests and curious quizzes, The Body Owner's Handbook is bursting with info! Science has never been so horrible!