The classic parody of The Lord of the Rings is back! With a brand-new “boreword” by Henry Beard.
It’s up to Boggie Frito Bugger and his band of misfits—including inept wizard Goodgulf Grayteeth, halfwit Spam Gangree, twins Moxie and Pepsi, and Arrowroot of Arrowshirt—to carry the Great Ring to Fordor and cast it into the Zazu Pits.
Can they avoid death by hickey tree and escape the dread ballhog? Can the fellowship overcome the narcs and Nozdruls hounding their every move and save Lower Middle Earth once and for all? Yes, of course—this isn’t Hamlet, you know.
Ian Doescher - William Shakespeare's Star Wars - Verily, a New Hope
Inspired by one of the greatest creative minds in the English language-and William Shakespeare-here is an officially licensed retelling of George Lucas's epic Star Wars in the style of the immortal Bard of Avon. The saga of a wise (Jedi) knight and an evil (Sith) lord, of a beautiful princess held captive and a young hero coming of age, Star Wars abounds with all the valor and villainy of Shakespeare’s greatest plays. ’Tis a tale told by fretful droids, full of faithful Wookiees and fearstome Stormtroopers, signifying...pretty much everything. Reimagined in glorious iambic pentameter—and complete with twenty gorgeous Elizabethan illustrations--William Shakespeare’s Star Wars will astound and edify Rebels and Imperials alike. Zounds! This is the book you’re looking for.
Terry Pratchett - Stephen Briggs - The Discworld Mapp
They said it couldn't be done. Well, it has been done, proving them wrong once again. After years of research, cunningly contrived in as many minutes, the Discworld has its map. It takes full account of the historic and much documented expeditions of the Discworld's feted (or at least fated) explorers: General Sir Roderick Purdeigh, Lars Larsnephew, Llamedos Jones, Lady Alice Venturi, Ponce da Quirm and, of course, Venter Borass. Now travellers on this circular world can see it all: from Klatch to the Ramtops, from Cori Celesti to the Circle Sea, from Genua to Bhangbhangduc. The great cities of Hunghung, Pseudopolis, Al Khali and, of course, Ankh-Morpork are placed with loving care upon this world which is carried through space by Great A'Tuin.
Neil Gaiman - Terry Pratchett - Good Omens
There is a distinct hint of Armageddon in the air. According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (recorded, thankfully, in 1655, before she blew up her entire village and all its inhabitants, who had gathered to watch her burn), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, the Four Bikers of the Apocalypse are revving up their mighty hogs and hitting the road, and the world's last two remaining witch-finders are getting ready to fight the good fight, armed with awkwardly antiquated instructions and stick pins. Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. . . . Right. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon -- each of whom has lived among Earth's mortals for many millennia and has grown rather fond of the lifestyle -- are not particularly looking forward to the coming Rapture. If Crowley and Aziraphale are going to stop it from happening, they've got to find and kill the Antichrist (which is a shame, as he's a really nice kid). There's just one glitch: someone seems to have misplaced him. . . . First published in 1990, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's brilliantly dark and screamingly funny take on humankind's final judgment is back -- and just in time -- in a new hardcover edition (which includes an introduction by the authors, comments by each about the other, and answers to some still-burning questions about their wildly popular collaborative effort) that the devout and the damned alike will surely cherish until the end of all things.
Terry Pratchett - Stephen Briggs - A Tourist Guide to Lancre
Not only an artistic and breathtaking view of Lancre but also an interesting and informative guide to one of the Discworld's more, er, picturesque kingdoms. Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick live there. Lancre could hardly be somwhere ordinary, could it? Magic glues the Discworld together and a lot of it ends up in Lancre, principal Kingdom of the Ramtop Mountains. Between Uberwald and Whale Bay, the Octarine Grass Country and the Windersins Ocean lies the most exciting and dangerous terrain in all Discworld. The Ramtops supply Discworld with most of its witches and wizards. The leaves on the trees move even when there is no breeze. Rocks go for a stroll in the evening. Even the land, at times, seems alive. The mapp may be only two-dimensional, but watch it very carefully and you might just see it jostle about a bit.
Stefan Petrucha - Maia Kinney-Petrucha - John L. Lansdale - Diary of a Stinky Dead Kid
The Ghoulunatics – The Vault-Keeper, the Old Witch, and everyone’s favorite, The Crypt-Keeper are back to offer their twisted takes on “Diary of a Wimpy Kid,” the “Twilight”series, and Guitar Hero! The cover-featured Stinky Dead Kid stars in two tales - - one that explains exactly how he became a Stinky Dead Kid, and another in which he battles “Guitar Demon,” a popular musical toy that’s become possessed by an evil entity. There’s also the trenchant tale of teen love involving a girl and a vampire, “Dielite,” and the riotous return of the ever-doomed Thomas Donnelly in his most bizarre tale yet!
Ian Doescher - William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return
Hot on the heels of the _New York Times_ best seller _William Shakespeare’s Star Wars_ comes the next two installments of the original trilogy: _William Shakespeare’s The Empire Striketh Back_ and _William Shakespeare’s The Jed Doth Return_. Return to the star-crossed galaxy far, far away as the brooding young hero, a power-mad emperor, and their jesting droids match wits, struggle for power, and soliloquize in elegant and impeccable iambic pentameter. Illustrated with beautiful black-and-white Elizabethan-style artwork, these two plays offer essential reading for all ages. Something Wookiee this way comes!
Terry Pratchett - The Colour of Magic
On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but inept wizard, a naive tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet... "An ideal introduction to the worlds of science fiction, fantasy and humourous writing for reluctant and avid readers alike." _Booktrusted News_
M. C. Beaton - Death of a Gossip
When society widow and gossip columnist Lady Jane Winters joined the fishing class, she wasted no time in ruffling the feathers-or was it the fins-of those around her. Among the victims of her sharp tongue and unladylike manner was Lochdubh Constable Hamish Macbeth. Yet not even Hamish thought someone would permanently silence Lady Jane's shrills-until her strangled body is fished out of the river. Now with the help of the lovely Priscilla Halburton-Smythe, Hamish must angle through the choppy waters of the tattler's life to find the murderer. But with a school of suspects who aren't ready to talk and dead women telling no tales, Hamish may be in over his head, for he knows that secrets are dangerous, knowledge is power, and killers usually do strike again. Jane Winters--Lady Jane--was a noted gossip columnist enrolled in the Lachdubh School of Casting (fish casting, that is). She had something on everyone in class--and so, bobby Hamish Macbeth figured, any one of them could have killed her. Martin's.
Yellow Tanabe - Kekkaishi 31.
Yoshimori is trapped in a formless void! The next day, the founding master of the kekkaishi himself appears at Yoshimori’s home and offers to train him in a unique kekkai style. Is Yoshimori’s visitor friend or foe? And why is he also offering to train the vicious Ogi heir, Shichiro...? Meanwhile, the witch Kakeru plans her revenge...
C. T. Grey - Fifty Sheds of Grey
_ ___“She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot ...” _ Colin Grey’s life was happy and simple, until the day everything changed—the day his wife read _that_ book. Suddenly, he was thrust headfirst into a dark, illicit world of pleasure and pain. This is what happens when a tide of tempestuous, erotic desire invades man’s last place of privacy: his backyard shed. WARNING: Fifty Sheds of Grey contains fifty graphic shed-based images. Please do not look if you are easily offended.
Terry Pratchett - The Color of Magic
The beginning of the hilarious and irreverent series that has more than 80 million copies worldwide, The Color of Magic is where we meet tourist Twoflower and wizard guide Ricewind, and follow them on their always-bizarre journeys. A writer who has been compared to Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, and Douglas Adams, Sir Terry Pratchett has created a complex, yet zany world filled with a host of unforgettable characters who navigate around a profound fantasy universe, complete with its own set of cultures and rules.
Michael Gerber - Barry Trotter and the Unnecessary Sequel
Another successful book by Micheal Gerber? Pigs might fly! If you haven't read BARRY TROTTER AND THE SHAMELESS PARODY don't worry, neither have we. But we have read this one and it's really good.
Tim Manley - Alice in Tumblr-Land And Other Fairy Tales for a New Generation
Disney meets Lena Dunham in this illustrated humor book featuring your favorite fairy-tale characters dating and finding their way in 21st-century America The Ugly Duckling still feels gross compared to everyone else, but now she’s got Instagram, and there’s this one filter that makes her look awesome. Cinderella swaps her glass slippers for Crocs. The Tortoise and the Hare Facebook stalk each other. Goldilocks goes gluten free. And Peter Pan finally has to grow up and get a job, or at least start paying rent. Here are more than one hundred fairy tales, illustrated and re-imagined for today. Instead of fairy godmothers, there’s Siri. And rather than big bad wolves, there are creepy dudes on OkCupid. In our brave new world of social networking, YouTube, and texting, fairy tales can once again lead us to “happily ever after”—and have us laughing all the way.
Malaclypse The Younger - Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst - Principia Discordia
One of the great books of our time, Principia Discordia is the official bible of the most relevant religion ever conceived, Discordianism. This legendary underground classic contains absolutely everything worth knowing about absolutely anything, including The Law of Fives, The Gospel According to Fred, The Five Apostles of Eris and The Book of Uterus. Discordianism is the religion for these screwed-up times, and Principia Discordia reveals it here for your enlightenment, confusion and entertainment.
Courtney Bowman - Cora Frasier - Nightlight
About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him-which I assumed was wildly out of his control-that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon's hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events-Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!-Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.
Stefan Petrucha - The Hunger Pains
WINNING MEANS WEALTH, FAME, AND A LIFE OF THERAPY LOSING MEANS DEATH, BUT ALSO FAME! THIS IS THE HUNGER PAINS When Kantkiss Neverclean replaces her sister as a contestant on the Hunger Games—the second-highest-rated reality TV show in Peaceland, behind Extreme Home Makeover—she has no idea what to expect. Having lived her entire life in the telemarketing district’s worst neighborhood, the Crack, Kantkiss feels unprepared to fight to the death while simultaneously winking and looking adorable for the cameras. But when her survival rests on choosing between the dreamy hunk from home, Carol Handsomestein, or the doughy klutz, Pita Malarkey, Kantkiss discovers that the toughest conflicts may not be found on the battlefield but in her own heart . . . which is unfortunately on a battlefield.
Melinda Duchamp - Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland
BEYOND 50 SHADES OF GREY... Eighteen-year-old Alice is unhappy. Her boyfriend is nice and polite, but he's also quick and careless in bed, and doesn't give Alice the attention and variety she craves. But he's not entirely to blame, because Alice herself doesn't understand her own needs. She's heard about what sex is supposed to be like, but has never felt anything remotely close to what she's read about in runaway bestselling books. BEYOND 9 1/2 WEEKS... Then Alice follows a vibrating white rabbit down a deep, dark hole, which leads to a place beyond her wildest imagination. There are no nice boys--or girls--down here. Only those who indulge in secret, forbidden, kinky fantasies. BEYOND PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES... Alice is confused and frightened and... aroused. She is bound. Teased. Spanked. Toyed. Brought to the limits of sexual endurance. And during her trials, she begins to understand her body's needs for the very first time. BEYOND THUNDERDOME... This isn't the fairy tale you grew up reading. This isn't for children at all. This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. Follow Alice down the rabbit hole, if you dare... Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland is slightly longer than the Lewis Carroll version, roughly 32,000 words or 115 paper pages long. Melinda DuChamp is the pen name of bestselling author who has written over 50 novels, mostly romance.
Lois Lowry - The Willoughbys
“Shouldn’t we be orphans?” one of the Willoughby children suggests. The four are, after all, part of an old-fashioned kind of family, and their parents – well, their parents are not all that one would hope for. So the Willoughbys concoct a diabolical plot to turn themselves into worthy and winsome orphans. Little do they know that Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby have already begun to formulate their own thoroughly despicable plan to rid themselves of their insufferable children…
Mark Twain - Taming the Bicycle
American life comes under the scrutiny of Mark Twain's wit in this delightful collection of short stories. Here, he comments on politics, education, the media, religion, and literature. The true subject of Twain's satire and burlesque is that strangest of all animals, the human being. In his novels, travel narratives, stories, essays, and sketches, Twain exposes such a variety of human foibles that one is left either laughing at the folly of human enterprise, blushing with shame at human behavior, or cursing the gods that would create such a silly animal. Twain does all three, often at the same time.
Terry Pratchett - Small Gods
Terry Pratchett tackles a tough topic in the 13th satiric fantasy in the Discworld series: religious extremism. The land of Omnia is a repressive theocracy ruled by priests and inquisitors, who believe more in their own power than in the Great God Om. This is a somewhat difficult situation for Om, because his power is dependent on the faith of his worshippers. Only one person, the simple novice Brutha, truly believes in Om and is capable of hearing the voice of the god, who, incidentally, is currently trapped within the body of a small tortoise.