You ​Suck

Christopher Moore - Lamb
The ​birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiahs best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer). Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Saviors pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But theres no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isnt about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.

Nora Ephron - Heartburn
'The ​pie I threw at Mark made a terrific mess, but a blueberry pie would have been even better, since it would have permanently ruined his new blazer, the one he bought with Thelma.' Rachel Samstat is smart, successful, married to a high-flying Washington journalist...and devastated. She has discovered that her husband is having an affair with the lanky Thelma. A delectable novel, (made into a film starring Meryl Streep) fizzing with wisecracks and recipes, this is a roller coaster of love, loss and - most satisfyingly - revenge.

Jonathan Safran Foer - Extremely ​Loud and Incredibly Close
In ​Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer tells the story of a precocious 9-year old boy, Oskar Schell. Oskar is very intelligent and independent, writes letters to Stephen Hawking, designs jewelry, and wanders about New York City wearing only white while playing the tambourine. On 9/11, he discovers the family's answering machine contains 5 messages from his father trapped in the north tower before he dies, and he hides the messages from his mother. Oskar struggles to deal with this inconsolable loss, distancing himself from his mom who eventually finds another man, and dreaming of fanciful inventions that can protect people from harm. When he finds a key in his father's closet with the word "Black" on the envelope holding it. Oskar seaches the city for every family named Black in hopes they can tell him the secret of the key, in hopes of understanding his father better. Oskar's grandmother lives across the street from him, and she struggles with the loss of her son while remembering her own survival during the bombing of Dresden and the damage it did to her family. Jonathan Safran Foer explores the psychological fallout from 9/11 through an unlikely boy whose pain and ideas ring all too true. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close has received high praise with the Rocky Mountain News saying, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a complex, hilarious, tear-jerking and terribly intimate story."

Emma Chase - Tangled
Drew ​Evans is a winner. Handsome and arrogant, he makes multimillion-dollar business deals and seduces New York's most beautiful women with just a smile. He has loyal friends and an indulgent family. So why has he been shuttered in his apartment for seven days, miserable and depressed? He'll tell you he has the flu. But we all know that's not really true. Katherine Brooks is brilliant, beautiful, and ambitious. She refuses to let anything-or anyone-derail her path to success. When Kate is hired as the new associate at Drew's father's investment banking firm, every aspect of the dashing playboy's life is thrown into a tailspin. The professional competition she brings is unnerving, his attraction to her is distracting, and his failure to entice her into his bed is exasperating. Then, just when Drew is on the cusp of having everything he wants, his overblown confidence threatens to ruin it all. Will he be able untangle his feelings of lust and tenderness, frustration and fulfillment? Will he rise to the most important challenge of his life? Can Drew Evans win at love? Tangled is not your mother's romance novel. It is an outrageous, passionate, witty narrative about a man who knows a lot about women...just not as much as he thinks he knows. As he tells his story, Drew learns the one thing in life he never wanted is the only thing he can't live without.

Shannon Stacey - Taken ​with You
Hailey ​Genest has seen most of her friends marry and have babies, and she's happy for them, but it was a lot easier before she hit forty. She's spent her entire life in Whitford, Maine, and if she hasn't found her Prince Charming by now, she has to accept she's probably not going to. When a new friend suggests they go on an adventure and embrace being single, Hailey agrees. Surviving in the woods is game warden Matt Barnett's idea of a relaxing vacation. But when he meets two women in need of help, he leads them back to safety - a task that proves more fun than expected, thanks to a certain hot blonde. He can't resist pushing her buttons, even though she's made it clear that the rugged, outdoorsy type just isn't for her. Hailey is glad to see the back of her tempting-tour-guide-slash-pain-in-the-ass. When he shows up in her life again, she's determined to avoid him, no matter how good he looks in his uniform. But that's easier said than done in Whitford, especially when he's renting the house right next door...

Shannon Stacey - Falling ​for Max
Max ​Crawford has reached the point in life where he's starting to think about settling down. Unfortunately, he's always been a little awkward when it comes to social interactions, and working from home doesn't help. He spends so much time alone, painting beautiful, historically accurate model trains that half of Whitford has begun to joke that he may be a serial killer. Not exactly prime husband material. Tori Burns has found happiness in Maine, thanks in large part to her shifts at the Trailside Diner. She likes the work, and she loves the local gossip. When shy, geeky Max Crawford becomes a regular, she's intrigued. When she finds out he's in the market for a wife, she's fascinated…and determined to help. Molding Max into every woman's dream turns out to be much easier than expected. But has Tori's plan worked a little too well? As she turns his comfortable life all sorts of upside down, she'll have to find a way to show just how she's fallen for him…the real him.

Claudia Gray - Hourglass
Bianca ​will risk everything to be with Lucas. After escaping from Evernight Academy, the vampire boarding school where they met, Bianca and Lucas take refuge with Black Cross, a fanatical group of vampire hunters. Bianca must hide her supernatural heritage or risk certain death at their hands. But when Black Cross captures her friend—the vampire Balthazar—hiding is no longer an option. Soon, Bianca and Lucas are on the run again, pursued not only by Black Cross, but by the powerful leaders of Evernight. Yet no matter how far they travel, Bianca can't escape her destiny. Bianca has always believed their love could survive anything . . . but can it survive what's to come?

Terry Pratchett - Jingo
Discworld ​goes to war, with armies of sardines, warriors, fishermen, squid and at least oen very camp follower. As two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch faces unpleasant foes who are out to get him... and that's just the people on his side. The enemy might be even worse. Jingo, the 21st in Terry Pratchett' s phenomenally successful Discworld series, makes the World Cup look like a friendly five-a-side.

David Lodge - Deaf ​Sentence
_Being ​deaf is less an affliction than a sentence..._ Retired Professor of Linguistics Desmond Bates is going deaf. Not suddenly, but gradually and - for him and everyone nearby - confusingly. It's a bother for his wife, Winifred, who has an enviably successful new career and is too busy to be endlessly repeating herself. Roles are reversed when he visits his hearing-impaired father, who won't seek help and resents his son's intrusions. And, finally, there's Alex. Alex is a student Desmond agrees to help after a typical misunderstanding. But her increasingly bizarre and disconcerting requests cannot - unfortunately - be blamed on defective hearing. So much for growing old gracefully...

Stephenie Meyer - Twilight
A ​seventeen-year-old teenager, Bella Swan, moved from Phoniex to Forks, Washington to live with her father. After going to school one day, she falls deeply in love with who she didn't know was something she could have never guessed....a vampire. The gorgoeus Edward Cullen is the vampire. Once Edward gets over being a vampire and Bella a human, they get together. Although everybody else thinks that it's weird that Edward is finally dating, Bella and Edward simply don't care. When an unexpected visitor comes to Forks, Edward and Bella start to have some trouble. What will happen next? You'll have to read to find out.

Jess Walter - The ​Financial Lives of the Poets
Meet ​Matt Prior. He's about to lose his business, his wife, his house, and maybe his sanity too. Financial journalist Matthew Prior quit his job to set up a website which couldn't fail. Only now he's woken up to the biggest crisis since the Great Crash, and it has. He's got six days to save his house. It's hard to focus when you think your wife's having an online affair with her childhood sweetheart, but there are the children to think about... So when he gets hold of some high-grade dope and finds he can sell a piece on at a profit, he begins to think this might be his salvation. A fabulously funny, heartfelt novel about how we can skate close to the edge of ruin - and pull back.

Christopher Moore - Totál ​szívás
Vámpírnak ​lenni totál szívás. Szó szerint. Kérdezzük csak meg Thomas C. Floodot. Élete legfantasztikusabb éjszakája után arra ébredt, hogy a barátnője, Jody, vámpír. És most már ő is az! Pontosabban Jody tette azzá. A legtöbb párnak ez elég lenne a szakításhoz, de Tommy és Jody szerelmesek, így elhatározzák, hogy túlteszik magukat ezen az apróságon. Csak közben kiderül, hogy az ősöreg vámpírnak, aki korábban megcsócsálta Jodyt, nem lett volna szabad újoncokat toborozni. Ráadásul Tommy volt munkatársai nagyon rákaptak erre a vámpírvadász dologra, úgyhogy karót akarnak döfni a fiú szívébe. Vagy levágni a fejét. Vagy valami ilyesmi. És ez már tényleg totál szívás.

J. K. Rowling - J. K. Rowling - Harry ​Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
There ​is a door at the end of a silent corridor. And it's haunting Harry Potter's dreams. Why else would he be waking in the middle of the night, screaming in terror? Here are just a few things on Harry's mind: - A Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher with a personality like poisoned honey. - A venomous, disgruntled house-elf - Ron as keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch team - The looming terror of the end-of-term Ordinary Wizarding Level exams . . . and of course, the growing threat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. In the richest installment yet of J. K. Rowling's seven-part story, Harry Potter is faced with the unreliability of the very government of the magical world and the impotence of the authorities at Hogwarts. Despite this (or perhaps because of it), he finds depth and strength in his friends, beyond what even he knew, boundless loyalty; and unbearable sacrifice. Though thick runs the plot, listeners will race through these tapes and leave Hogwarts, like Harry, wishing only for the next train back.

Christopher Moore - Vérszívó ​démonok
Jody ​igazából nem akart vámpír lenni. De amikor egyszer egy sikátorban ébred – karján égési sérülések, testén egy szemetes konténer, végtagjaiban természetfeletti erő, torkában valami furcsa szomjúság –, rá kell döbbennie, hogy ebben a kérdésben senki nem kérte ki a véleményét. Valaki vámpírt csinált belőle, és kész. Egy vámpír élete azonban sokkal bonyolultabb, mint egy irodai alkalmazotté. Az éjszaka számtalan kihívást rejteget Jody számára, és itt jön a képbe C. Thomas Flood, aki éppen most érkezik San Franciscóba, azzal a feltett szándékkal, hogy író legyen. De a körülmények egészen más irányba sodorják a fiút. Éjszakai munkát vállal egy szupermarketben, és amikor a sors egy gyönyörű, bár élőhalott és vérszívó lány karjaiba löki, ő menthetetlenül beleszeret. Jody és Tommy összeköltözik, de az élet csupa veszély, ha az ember egy vámpírral él együtt. Bizonyos esetekben jól jöhet egy füzér fokhagyma, egy közepes méretű feszület... vagy végső esetben egy kihegyezett karó.

Terry Pratchett - The ​Fifth Elephant
Sam ​Vimes is a man on the run. Yesterday he was a duke, a chief of police and the ambassador to the mysterious fat-rich country of Uberwald. Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war. But there are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and the're catching up.

Terry Pratchett - Soul ​Music
"Other ​children got given xylophones. Susan just had to ask her grandfather to take his vest off." Yes. There's a Death in the family. It's hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe - especially when you have to take over the family business, and everyone mistakes you for the Tooth Fairy. And especially when you have to face the new and addictive music that has entered the Discworld. It's Lawless. It changes people. It's called Music with Rocks In. It's got a beat and you can dance to it, but ... It's alive. And it won't fade away.

Julie Kagawa - The ​Eternity Cure
Allison ​Sekemoto has vowed to rescue her creator, Kanin, who is being held hostage and tortured by the psychotic vampire Sarren. The call of blood leads her back to the beginning—New Covington and the Fringe, and a vampire prince who wants her dead yet may become her wary ally. Even as Allie faces shocking revelations and heartbreak like she’s never known, a new strain of the Red Lung virus that decimated humanity is rising to threaten human and vampire alike.

David Lodge - Small ​World
The ​unbridled greed, pettiness, buffoonery and intellectual gobbledegook in the world of higher scholarship are the topics of this thorough and thoroughly funny "roman à English department". It's interesting for a couple of reasons, aside from its humour and lampoonery: it's an insider's view of things--always the best kind--and it takes its old- fashioned time telling a story, complete with reasonable digressions about the state of literary criticism and what may or may not be a realistic view of the academic life.

Terry Pratchett - Maskerade
The ​show must go on, as murder, music and mayhem run riot in the night... The Opera House, Ankh-Morpork... a huge, rambling building, where innocent young sopranos are lured to their destiny by a strangely-familiar evil mastermind in a hideously-deformed evening dress... At least, he hopes so. But Granny Weatherwax, Discworld's most famous witch, is in the audience. And she doesn't hold with that sort of thing. So there's going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evening's entertainment with murders you can really hum...)

Terry Pratchett - Moving ​Pictures
The ​alchemists of the Discworld have discovered the magic of the silver screen. But what is the dark secret of Holy Wood hill? It's up to Victor Tugelbend ("Can't sing. Can't dance. Can handle a sword a little") and Theda Withel ("I come from a little town you've probably never heard of") to find out... Moving Pictures, the tenth Discworld novel, is a gloriously funny saga set against the background of a world gone mad!